Halo Dunia Yang Penuh Fana dan Tanda Tanya Besar


| Diperbarui: 26 November 2020
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Managing conflict Reconnecting after a fight

Managing conflict Reconnecting after a fight

Managing conflict Reconnecting after a fight

Managing conflict Reconnecting after a fight


We all have different tendencies that affect our actions and reactions, so we can’t expect our partner to constantly be on the same wavelength. “Some people are conflict avoiders and some are conflict approachers,” explains Derichs. “Neither is wrong, so it’s wise not to make judgments.” The real question is what issues will you get into and which will you let go of? “Arguing about every little thing that happens leads to a conflict-filled relationship,” she warns. “And never arguing leads to built up resentments and a lack of the ‘learned skills’ needed to manage the conflicts that arise in any ​relationship.” Bring up the premarital counseling topic of how you fight with your therapist, who can help you come up with better ways of approaching your different tendencies.

Reconnecting after a fight
Learning how to come back together and shake off your differences after a rift is an essential skill many couples just don’t know how to do and is definitely should be covered in premarital counseling, says Derichs. “Revisit the conversation when cooler heads prevail and take some responsibility for the part you played in the rift.” Even if it’s a very small point, your counselor can help you learn to see your fiancé’s point of view. Let them know that you don’t think they’re completely out of line for thinking or feeling they way they do.

Children
This is a wide-ranging premarital counseling topic that surprisingly not all couples talk about before they say “I do.” But it’s important to come to an understanding of how each of you feel about having children. Do you both want children? If so, how many? And how soon? “Talking about the topic of having children in your premarital counseling can help you determine how kids will affect your careers, lifestyle, recreation, privacy, social interests, money and plans for the future,” says Derichs. “Also, don’t hesitate to talk about what will happen if you experience infertility, birth defects, miscarriages, unplanned pregnancies or other options such as fostering or adopting.”

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